Urine trouble now

One of life's awkward pleasures for men is the urinal.
Recently, on a long, solo car trip, I stopped at a roadside toilet to siphon my python.
At the same time that I entered the toilet block, a man who I estimate was in his forties walked hurriedly through the door, obviously in need of immediate relief.
It was only a small urinal, room for two, maybe three people. What a real estate agent would refer to as "cosy". I'd been driving three straight hours and had consumed several cans of Red Bull and two litres of water, so my expulsion of liquid waste was a long one.
But for the entire time I was whizzing, this awkward gentleman was standing there, holding his dick, trying to go.
He had stage fright. He went from a man busting at the seams to one who couldn't even get a trickle out, simply because there was another human being in his general vicinity.
So, naturally, I drew it out as long as I could, just to torture him a bit.
Roadside urinals are a bit more awkward than those in restaurants and bars. There's often graffiti directly above the urinal about shaven young men ready to meet you, and since you don't want to be seen to be reading that - lest these random strangers mistake you for a homosexual! - you have to avert your eyes. But don't look sideways, there are phalluses left and right.
The only correct answer to this riddle is to crane your neck and look at the ceiling above you, and perhaps whistle a bit, just to give the illusion that you're comfortable with the cavalcade of cock.
Pub toilets are much easier to deal with, because everybody is usually a little drunk and less self conscious, and there's less chance of the guy next to you knocking you out and dragging you into his van. Also, many pubs have separate urinals, which is a two-edged sword. It seems that once you block the line of sight between a dude and the junk of the guy next to him, he gets a little curious and tries to peek around the edge of the barrier.
But, as we all learnt in high school science, our eyes see things around us by absorbing the photons of light that bounce off our surroundings.
Therefore, when you look at my dick, you're getting particles that were just touching it all over your eyes, and as a friend of mine discovered on the weekend, my wang particles tend to sting the eyeballs a little.